Lipstick For Your Other Lips

Photo Source:  Unsplash

Photo Source: Unsplash

Starting from a young age (like 8), my mother would tell me “You can do anything you want as long as it’s with your husband!” I have these memories of her looking glamorous and going to bed wearing perfume in a hot pink robe, wondering what she meant. Well now I know. Mom, thank you for clearing my conscience because I’m going to talk vibrators (remember, I’m married).

No, I’m not going to do a women’s mag “rate the vibrator” schtick. Instead, I’m solely going to talk about My Pink Friend. She comes into bed with us (no pun intended), travels with us and provides great companionship.

She is my clitoral hero. She is powerful and gentle (and a lot of other speeds/levels) in the way that I need her to be and is an integral part of my sex life with my partner HUSBAND (Hi Mom).

You may have read this article about your 8 inch clitoris. Well, I’m pretty sure there is a lot of distance between my clitoris and urethra… THANKFULLY, my partner understands all these mechanics and understands how My Pink Friend is a bonus for both of us.

Now, My Pink Friend isn’t always involved in our conjugal romps - just often involved. She is for the everyday. The grind. The day to day married sex. Because, let’s be honest, sometimes you suck it up and do it with your partner when your mind is not there. And other times, they just suck it up and do it for you when their mind is not there. That is 100% normal. But THEN there are those amazing moments (usually on vacation, while traveling, date night) when you BOTH want it. My Pink Friend is not for (all) those moments. Though, she’s still around, because she can be fun and she innocuously looks like hot pink lipstick.

Again, My Pink Friend is for the everyday. And as the book Come As You Are taught us, we have different dual control models. Dismantling patriarchy involves really understanding this dynamic from the root (IMHO). As the book says, there is a HUGE difference in what our culture (falsely) believes about sex and reality. Nothing is wrong with our libidos or our bodies. We just need to understand them.

We thought My Pink Friend died a few months ago. She didn’t, the charger just broke. So after 5 years of marriage, we replaced her with another Pink Friend. The older friend works with the new friend’s charger, which is much better than the previous version.

I think My Pink Friend can take people to another level. Couples, noncouples, partners, f(*& buddies, whatever. AND, I think that our popular culture needs to talk openly about (female-focused) sexual satisfaction in female bodies.

By the way, YES, I’m (a 38 year old) Muslim (woman) and grew up in aunty culture (which is why I’m nervous about even posting this). And YES I think we should be discussing this publicly! This is THE STUFF that needs to be passed around people. This is a public service of sorts. Bye Mom!

So, do you have a “friend”? If so, please elaborate!